When you think of the word “Value,” what comes to mind?
I came across a definition of value that says “the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.”
A correct understanding of value is so important for each of us as individuals. God created humans and we are certainly valuable in His eyes. God thought we were so valuable that He sent His only son Jesus Christ to DIE FOR US. But for some reason along the line, we began to treat others as less valuable and began to think of ourselves as less valuable.
For the sake of this post, we’re going to focus on how we view ourselves, because this ultimately determines how we let other people treat us.
We’ve all had someone or many people cross our paths that did not treat us right. Plain and simple. This includes spouses, friends, ex’s, family members, bosses, etc… Often times for the sake of company, love or whatever the reason may be, we lessen ourselves to keep people in our lives. Sometimes we think we deserve the hurtful things they say to us or we need them in our life and can’t imagine life without them.
I am here to tell you that anyone who consistently makes you feel like less of a person is TOXIC. When you continue to allow toxic people to shape how you look at yourself, you’ll never be able to see your true value. These people suck the joy out of you, hold mistakes over your head, call you out your name, ignore you and make you wonder, have something negative to say every time you’re around them and the list goes on.
When you realize your value, you’ll notice that your “taste” in people becomes a bit more expensive. You’ll start to notice that not everyone deserves your attention, time or loyalty. None of this is to say that you can disrespect or judge people, but you should be aware of how they treat you. A tell all sign is when you’ve expressed many times that they are hurting you and they begin to play this “back and forth” game. Some call it mind games. What I mean by this, is the person is so sweet and loving one day and then treat you like nothing the next. You can’t listen to what a person says, but you must take note of their actions. Any person that literally listens to you say you don’t like how they treat you, or literally watches you cry and break down in front of them but does nothing to change does not VALUE you.
If there are any toxic people you have in your life who refuse to see the issue and change, it may be time to cut off that relationship in the nicest way possible. Proverbs 4:23 says “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (NIV). As Christians we are called to guard our hearts, but this does not mean to harden our hearts. Therefore, you should not hold grudges for how they hurt you and you should willingly forgive them, but that does not mean you have to create or rebuild a relationship with them if they refuse to change. Most of the time it’s best to love toxic people from a distance.
Some signs of a toxic person:
- Surrounded by and loves drama
- Constantly lying/manipulating
- Never have a nice word to say about anyone
- They are hurtful
- They pick and choose when they want to associate with you
- Never feels the need to apologize
- They love to diminish your self esteem
- Unsupportive and unreliable
- They comfortably and purposely waste so much of your time
God will strategically place all the right people into your life who are supposed to be there.
You won’t ever have to beg someone to stay in your life. And never should you have to beg someone to treat you right.
If it’s harmful, cut it.
Know your value.
Stay encouraged 🙂