If you read the title and immediately thought of that Cassie song, you still got some work to do! 🙂 lol. I’m kidding. That song was catchy though, not going to lie. I think I just told on myself? …
Anyway, let’s talk about relationship. Singular.
What’s the most important relationship in your life?
I would have to say mine is with Christ. For many reasons.
I have always been a Christian. A religious Christian, I might add. A few weeks ago someone told me, “when I think of you, I think of a Bible…”
“What?” I thought…clearly they don’t know me. Which is very ironic, being how they consider themselves my friend. It was odd.
Anyway, like I said, I’ve always been a Christian, but it wasn’t until about 6 months ago, that I fully understood what that meant. To be transparent, it was a rough break up that pushed me over the edge.
You see, being a Christian wasn’t about going to church and singing on the praise team. It wasn’t about memorizing scriptures, or seeing how fast I could find a book of the Bible. It wasn’t about going to other people’s churches just to hear some “good singing,” or throwing out a prayer here and there when I was in trouble. It wasn’t about not wearing pants on Sundays or knowing the words to many gospel songs. I never realized how I was just going through the motions. I was raised in church and that’s all I knew, to be honest. I thought I had it right.
People in high school called me “religious.” They picked me and another guy to do the speech at the Baccalaureate ceremony as a graduating senior because we were the most “religious” people in our class. So I figured I was doing it right. Other people knew I was about God, I knew I was about God……so what else was there? I knew what pastors and family told me. I knew what the hymns and songs said. I believed in Him and that He was Almighty. But did I know God personally? No.
To make this more clear, would you consider yourself friends or in a relationship with someone if you knew nothing about them? Would you say you guys have a relationship if all you knew was what other people told you about them? Most of us with common sense would say no. You don’t know them. They aren’t your friend. They aren’t your boyfriend/girlfriend. You see, if you take everyone else’s word for who they are, then you might end up with the wrong idea about them, right? It has to be more personal than that, right?
When my ex and I broke up, I was shattered into pieces. I wondered how can this be? I did everything right. I was smart, pretty, talented, loving, caring, supportive, and had a huge heart. How can things fall apart so quickly? After two years, did he ever love me? Why didn’t he try harder for me? Was I not worth it? etc…etc… then I felt God telling me “You are Enough, give me your heart.” I was thinking “what in the world are you going to do with a million pieces of broken heart and how long is it going to take?” I was tired of hurting. Tired of crying. Tired of wondering. I was questioning God. Why this? Why that? Are you even there, God? Then that’s when it hit me. I knew absolutely nothing about God. I had His phone number, but only used it when I needed something. I had been going around claiming to know someone, when all I really knew was their name. Imagine someone going around doing that to you. Talking about they know you, when they’ve never taken the time to get to know you, personally. You would be like “nah, they don’t know me, they know OF me.” I was living vicariously through other people’s testimonies, but didn’t have one of my own.
Those people in high school didn’t know me. These people in college don’t know me. People who think they are my “best friends” now, don’t know anything about me. Some of my own family doesn’t even know me. You know why? Because they never asked. They never were interested enough. They were never intentional. That’s okay though, people are people. Many are selfish. Some don’t even realize how superficial many of their “relationships” with others are. But that wasn’t enough for me and Christ. I had to go deeper. There was no excuse. He was literally an open book. How can we expect to learn about our significant others when we don’t ask? How can we expect to grow with them if we don’t take time out of our day for them?
The same went for my relationship with Christ. I realized how can I expect to know Christ when the autobiography (Bible) about Him was closed? I had to be intentional. I had to intentionally schedule time out for God and His Word. Just like we plan to go on dates to stay close to our significant others, I had to plan an hour or more dedicated to Christ. I had to get to know Him for who He is, not what others told me about Him. You see, I needed heartbreak to find out that I serve a God that is Faithful, never failing, and unmatched.
That’s when I actually knew for myself that He was Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I found out He was my source of peace. He was my light. He was the way. That’s when I found out when people didn’t love me, He did. That’s when I found out my identity. I found out when others thought I was lame, He thought I was so cool. When didn’t think I was worth it, He knew how many hairs I had on my head. I woke up the next day and the day after that, only to find out He didn’t and wouldn’t leave me. I was completely overwhelmed by His love. God chooses us everyday, even when we don’t choose Him. How many people do you know that are willing to forgive you the very second you say sorry? How many people do you know will forget your past and let you start over no matter how many times you mess up? How many people do you know will take you back after repeatedly taking advantage of them? How many people do you know will send their Son to DIE on a cross for a bunch of people who didn’t deserve it? And how many sons do you know that are willing to go? Even as I write this, I can’t fathom why someone would do this for me. Little old flawed me. Little old ungrateful, bratty, rude sometimes me. There was absolutely NOTHING I could do for God, but He chose me anyway. That’s when I found out He didn’t love me for who I am, but for who He is. So I was determined to find out exactly who He is. Who is this God that can move mountains? Who is this God that never leaves my side? Who is this God that sent His own Son to die for me? And who is this Son that went so willingly?
That is when it transitioned from religion to relationship for me. It was no longer a ritual, but a lifestyle. I got to know Him for myself. I stopped just believing what people told me and found out for myself. Nobody else can do it for you. You can’t force anybody else. It is literally so personal.
When I had doubts about my worth, God reminded of that cross. “You are to die for,” He said.
When I asked God to show himself, He did.
When I asked God to prove himself, He did.
And it all started with….
“It’s just me and You. So tell me about yourself”
What a privilage and an honor.
Don’t believe me? Go find out.
*Suggested song “You Keep Me” by Travis Greene feat. Kj Scriven and Laura Wilson