Hurt people, hurt people.

Here’s the definition of condition below.

Condition = the state of something, especially with regard to its appearance, quality, or working order.

The 3 things that stuck out to me the most are appearance, quality and working order. Working order is how well something is working. So if something is in good working order, that means it is working properly.

The Bible tells us to guard our hearts because all that we do flows from it (Proverbs 4:23). All that we say, all that we do, all that we think and visualize comes from what is in our hearts.

With that being said, it’s important to know the condition of our hearts. Sometimes people make their heart the last priority on their lists. We’ll look in the mirror and take pictures of ourselves in a cute outfit, before we look at the appearance  or quality of our hearts.

We look real nice and clean on the outside, but our hearts are filthy on the inside.

You wonder why you can’t stop comparing yourself to others? Look at your heart.

You wonder why you feel worthless? Look at your heart.

It’s like a domino effect. When you feel worthless, you tend to make other people around you feel worthless.

You probably know the saying “misery loves company.” It’s kind of like that group of people who feel sad, so they go over to their sad friends houses and play sad music then watch sad movies because they’re just all so sad. It’s funny to think about, but it happens all the time.

Guarding your heart isn’t always about relationships. Guarding your heart can simply mean not entertaining certain conversations with certain people because all they love to do is gossip.

When you’re hurt, you hurt other people. When I think about this, it amazes me how two completely damaged people get into a relationship with each other, thinking “love cures all.” No Sis, love enhances all. Flaws, pain and hurt are more noticeable when you decide to be with someone. So now you have two emotionally unhealthy people together in a relationship, and its bound to blow up.

You talk down to your boyfriend or spouse because he’s not constantly telling you how beautiful you are every second of the day. You’re saying he ain’t this and he ain’t that, or he’s a terrible partner and all of a sudden you think “he doesn’t care about you.” But if we take a step back and look deeper, the issue is really in your heart. You had self-esteem issues before you even got with him that you never took care of and those heart issues are starting to resurface in your relationship.

It’s important that we know how to have a healthy heart. So here are “Three Important Keys to a Healthy Heart”

1. Despise it enough

Whatever “it” is, you have hate it enough not to go back. So let’s give an example of this. Let’s say you’ve been working out and losing a lot of weight. You’ve been documenting your progress with pictures. Some time has passed and you finally reach your weight goal. You sit down and look at the pictures from when you were 275 pounds to now. You start to remember how bad you felt about yourself back then, because you weren’t the healthiest you that you could be. You remember how you used to feel embarrassed when you couldn’t walk the mall with your friend without being out of breath all the time. And because you didn’t feel good about yourself, you began to look at other girls smaller than you and call them names, gossip about them or become jealous of them.  These memories make you never want to be that size again. You remember how bad you felt and refuse to feel that way again. So you take actions like continuing to eat right, loving yourself and exercising in order to maintain a healthy you. This motivation you have started with a healthy heart. You decided in your heart that you loved yourself too much to go back to the way you were.

I’ll be transparent and say that for me, it’s returning to a poor relationship. Since I chose to work on myself and my heart, God showed me what had been wrong with me that caused me to stay as long as I did in the first place. I had placed my identity in a guy. I compromised my standards and more, all because my heart was “ugly.” So in my case, now that my heart is healthy in many ways, I have learned to despise the way my ex made me feel enough to never go back to a relationship like that again. I ended up feeling worthless, used, forgotten about and like I wasn’t enough. And from this ugly heart, I made poor choices that hurt me and hurt other people. Because I felt worthless, my tongue became venom to whoever I spoke to. I poisoned people with my words. I turned to alcohol to ease the pain. I HATED how I felt. So I refuse to ever feel that way again, with anyone. My heart is healthy, so now my relationship choices will be healthy.


2. Know where to hide

Do you know where to hide when insecurity and depression start to creep in? We have to designate IN ADVANCE where to hide when attacks like these happen. We have to purposely plan to guard our hearts. For Christians, our refuge should be in Christ. Whether it be through prayer, reading your bible or talking to Godly wise people, we need to know where to go when there’s an attack on our hearts.

Some of us already have bad habits in this area. We find our hiding places in food, alcohol, sex, blame, porn, drugs, low expectations, and other destructive behaviors. If you want a healthy heart, you can’t hide in these things. They’re temporary and will never be able to give you the help you need. We can’t keep asking God to protect us from the things we keep running to. Maintaining a healthy heart means keeping a healthy hiding place.


3. Know that God is God

This one will be very short, because it’s simple. God is the creator and master of all things pure. As believers of Christ, we are his children and he knows us better than anyone. God can love and transform even the ugliest of hearts. We have to remember that God is God. He makes beauty out of ashes. You can go to Him in desperation and ask Him to renew your heart. He will meet you wherever you are. You’re never too messy.


In the end, the conditions of our hearts, determine the conditions of our life. You ever read about some of the happiest people on earth? They aren’t happy because they have money, nice cars, nice houses or a spouse. They’re happy because they’re content with what they do or don’t have in life. They’re content because the condition of their heart is contentment. They’re okay with what they have, grateful in fact. That’s a sign of a healthy heart.

Honestly, who cares if a person is good looking when their heart is ugly?

Yeah your face is beat, but what’s that heart looking like? Are you constantly needing validation from instagram likes? Are you constantly taking selfies because “you haven’t showed your face in awhile” and need people to see you still exist? Do you constantly feel like unless you take a snapchat picture of what you’re doing or eating that it never happened? (I’m so guilty of this, smh). God showed me what I was really looking for was relevance. I wanted to feel like my life mattered and was exciting. When you come to God, open and honest, He will really reveal these things to you and begin to fix them.

It’s so important that you make your heart the most beautiful part about you. Because in the end ………

Hurt people, HURT people.


Be encouraged,

Jordyn Austin


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