Women Ask Men (Part 2)

1. The Bible says for wives to submit to their husbands, but what about your girlfriend? Are you looking for her to submit in some ways? Does this help you see what kind of wife she will be?

Yes! Submitting is very important. Even though the Bible says husband submit to your wives, it’s important that you exemplify some qualities prior to marriage. Men want to be in control. Just make us feel that we are even if we aren’t. 😂  Yes this will help a lot. Things will change when you get married, but I need to know for sure that we will work.

2. What about a woman would make a guy feel like she is not the one. (The conversation? God said no, try again? He’s just not interested anymore? And why?)
Prayer is the number one thing I’ll do. Listen for God and then just how I feel in general. Your relationship with God also needs to line up. If our chase isn’t the same then it most likely won’t work. There is room for change, but the person has to want to change for them and not for you. Some things are deal breakers. Your level of hunger for God definitely is. We need to be able to chase together.
3. Do you feel you’ll ever be completely “ready” for someone? Some men think you have to have it all together before you even speak to a woman you’re interested in. Is that realistic?

Good question! But there’s a catch to this answer so bare with me. Speaking for most men, one of our biggest fears is being unprepared. One thing that we do out of instinct, is try to make sure everything is in it’s proper place before we decide to move forward. Our imperfections drive us to seek perfection. Which undoubtedly could take an eternity to achieve!  Even though the bible instructs us to walk by faith and not by sight, the cloud of doubt follows every decision we make. Often times we’re not aware that failing to trust God and marching to our own drum is very spiteful to our heavenly father. What we must realize is that this is what makes God so beautiful. He desires to meet us men exactly where we are. This ultimately means that you don’t have to have it all together.  Trying to be completely ready for someone stems from the idea of perfection.

But here’s the catch miss: If the man is operating from a kingdom mindset, he’s not going to be completely ready until God says he’s ready! Think about it, if a man is quick to make a decision without first consulting God, do you really want this person leading you and your family? A lot of times, men do play the “waiting on God game” just so he can move everything in it’s place. If you recall the story of David and Goliath— the Philistine giant would taunt the Israelites with his words trying to force them into battle. The bible says he did this for forty days! Just think, what would’ve happened if the Israelites would have been hasty and tried to fight Goliath on the 20th or 3rd day? But because God was the true head of the Israelites, they weren’t interested in making hasty decisions. They waited until the right man for the job showed up (David). Trust me, it’s to your benefit for the man you speak of to operate on God’s timing without being influenced by your or even his own agenda.

4. Do you prefer women who are reserved and waiting on a guys approach, or women who are flirtatious?

Reserved and waiting on a guy’s approach. Being overly flirtatious is not a very good sign. It can come off as desperation.

5. Is Weave or natural hair preferable?

Lol! The man seeking you will appreciate any hairstyle you rock. It’s important to know that a man has already been tailor made just for you. Which means, whatever your preference is,  will also be his preference. We often get ourselves into trouble when we expect other peoples preferences to be equivalent to our own. Don’t be upset if a man doesn’t prefer natural hair. Unless God administrates a change of heart, it may mean he may not be the right one for you and that’s okay!

6. If your mom doesn’t like a woman, does that keep you from taking anything further with her?

As a man, it could often hurt when his mother shows her sign of disapproval toward the woman he loves. Believe it or not, it could even lead to borderline insanity in some ways! However, it is not her decision. If God says yes, the opinion of others don’t even matter. A man is naturally possessive which means he is going to work to protect what is his from a relationship standpoint. Even if it means that his mother does not agree, the relationship should be furthered only out of obedience to God.

7. We hear the saying “Food is a way to a man’s heart.” Is this true? How much knowledge should a woman have when it comes to cooking and should men also know how to cook?

Women should know how to cook before entering into a marriage. Men love a good home cooked meal, but it isn’t THE way to a man’s heart, only part of it. Men should definitely know how to cook as well.

8. I’ve never been approached by a Christian man so how would I know if he’s really about Jesus? What would he say? What should I say to get to know him on that level?

 

I love this question so much that I don’t want to creep you out with my answer. My answer to you is to first align yourself as much as possible with Christ so much that you can hear him breathe. Some things are only revealed through our own personal relationship. Through that, God will provide a blueprint of what YOUR Godly man is supposed to look like. Believe it or not, we’re not all the same and because we aren’t, it speaks to the versatility of God and how he meets everyone’s needs based on what we (the body) are lacking. However, we do have similar qualities. It’s crazy because you can literally feel, hear, and smell the presence of God exuding from a Godly man’s body. He’ll walk different, he’ll talk different, you’ll see him say and do certain things that will completely minister to your spirit to where you stand back and say , “This brotha’ is on an entirely different stratosphere.” Most importantly, a kingdom minded man will first try to please God before he tries to please YOU or himself.

9. Do you believe in the traditional gender roles? Men go to work, provide and protect, while women keep up the home and nurture the child?

Yes I do believe in the traditional roles. The Bible states the man is the head of the women and the women is the head of the household. Therefore, I just don’t see it as her role to run the house and nurture the children, but apart of her calling. However, that’s not to say the man shouldn’t help. Any real man of God should actively play a large role in the development of his children and the upkeep of his home with his wife. No matter what, it’s always a team effort.

10. Studies show that most men are attracted to longer hair. Is that true? If so, why?

I honestly believe it’s because we were taught that long hair is to be desired since birth. It’s not until we fully submit ourselves to God that we can truly see beauty in all shapes, sizes, colors, and hair length. Society says long hair is a great measurement for women and since we are naturally creatures of flesh, it’s just easier to go with the flow than fight the status quo. I doubt many people even know why they think long hair is more attractive because it has been shoved down our throats so much it has almost become entwined in our DNA to seek that out.

11. How do you feel about men and women having best friends, who are the opposite sex? How do you maintain those boundaries? How does that friendship come into play, when one of you enters into a new relationship?

Having friends of the opposite sex can be acceptable, but also very dangerous. One of the most important boundaries of having a friend of the opposite sex is respecting the fact that the other person is in a relationship and making sure you’re not overstepping. “Best” friends I don’t agree with, talking everyday and constantly hugging is unacceptable. But definitely being friends and talking occasionally without any suspicious thoughts or looks, I agree with.

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