Women Ask Men (Part 4)

1. What do men really think about online dating?

I have noticed both sides of this. Older and traditional thinks it’s dangerous. They think that you could be set up with someone with ulterior motives and not know it until it’s too late. But the more technical and those that have limited time think it’s great. I actually know two people that have done it, admitted to it and are still happily married — one for 4 years and the other for 12 years.

2. Should a man always pay for the date, after the initial stage of getting to know one another?

After the initial stage, I believe you should talk openly about paying for the date and do what works best for that couple. I don’t think the man should expect the woman to pay for the date. In general, a man should show the desire and ability to provide, not because the woman can’t provide, but because it’s a sign of what type of man he is. If he loves you, he will want to make sure you are taken care of. But I think as your relationship grows, healthy conversations will allow you to make better decisions. In a mature relationship, your finances divided may not allow you to do all the things that the two of you desire, but working together, with consideration for each other, you can do more with less stress. Sometimes neither may be able to afford the desired date, so you make a sensible decision that works best for you.

3. Are men more afraid to approach women while they’re with their friends?

It does make it more challenging, because men feel you not only are being critiqued by the one you approach, but her friends that are there will be very influential on what she does. If a man is truly interested, that won’t stop him, but he will attempt to get the young lady by herself so he can talk to her.

4. Are women who have kids a deal breaker?

 This is definitely a question that I guarantee you will get different answers for every man that you ask.  Women with kids and the kids themselves offer a lot of different variables, and every man will feel differently on how comfortable they are which each situation.  For me personally, at 23 years old, I don’t think that I would date a woman with a kid(s) mostly because I’m not sure what I want my role to be, or even what the woman would want my role to be.  Ideally in a relationship you would want to ease into the idea/reality of fatherhood, but dating a woman with kids immediately throws you into the role of a father…. Or does it?  As a man I would feel immediate pressure to be the father of that child, as well as that child respecting me as such.  But that’s not really fair to the child, unless they’re familiar with who I am. I’m sure they’re uncomfortable around me, would much rather their blood father be with their mother, and to be frank they would probably want me to just get up out their face.  (as I was typing this I thought of another big variable which is how old is the kid? Because that may change how I approach the situation if the child is let’s say 6 months.)  Do I focus on building the relationship more with the mother and neglect the child? Or focus on the child and neglect the mother?  Where’s the balance?  Also is the child’s real father involved at all? Is he crazy? I honestly could go on and on.

However, I want to be clear that single moms deserve love too.  There are plenty of men out there who would be more than willing to date a single mom if he feels confident in his ability to adjust to any situation.  When I’m older and wiser, and have much more stable life, I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have an issue dating a single mom.

5. Do you prefer a woman to wear or not wear makeup?

 My stance on the makeup question has definitely changed over the years, but I’m pretty comfortable with my opinion now and I would bet the most men agree with me.  I think it is absolutely breathtaking when a woman can look good without makeup, (Alicia keys).  However, the more I see woman with good makeup and woman who are confident in makeup, I find myself being just as attracted to that.  I honestly enjoy women who wear makeup for themselves and not necessarily for the attraction of men.  Overall I think the issue becomes, and I think most men would agree on me with this, when a woman is dependent on her makeup.  Like she’ll never been seen without it.  I’d rather be with a woman who felt comfortable doing both.  As a man I know when I approach a woman with makeup that she probably looks differently first thing in the morning, but the question is she comfortable with letting me see her in that vulnerable state?

6. Does height matter in a relationship? Would you date a woman that’s taller than you? Why or why not?

There’s this saying that I used to say all the time, SHORT GUYS NEED LOVE TOO. And with that same thought I’ll say TALL WOMEN NEED LOVE TOO.  The issue with men and tall woman is, that we see all the time on movies, tv shows, social media etc., that woman love tall men.  Woman love be babied and cradled by their bigger, taller man.  Woman love wearing his huge clothes around the house etc., And truth be told, as men we love doing those things too.  We love holding our girl just under our chin, with her head on our chest, we love seeing her in our hoodie that just swallows her yet somehow makes her look even cuter, we love all that cute stuff.  So when we as men are attracted to a woman who is taller than us, a lot of times we automatically assume that she wouldn’t like us so we don’t’ even waste our time.

I’ve legit heard one of my friends say “if he ain’t six feet I don’t even want to know his name.” I laughed it off, but I guess it also reassured my insecurities.  On the flip side, men are equally dismissive because if we get approached by a woman who is taller than us, we panic because all the cute scenarios that usually happen in our imaginations, doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.  However, I know plenty of bold and confident men who have know problem dating a woman who is taller than them. All in all, I hate to admit it, but it seems like height definitely plays a part in relationships.

7. Do men prefer curvy or non-curvy women, or is it all about the total package?

 To put it simply, different men prefer different body types.  And sometimes, men with certain preferences may find an exception within that preference.  I think it all depends on the woman and how she carries herself.  For me, nothing grabs my attention like a beautiful face and nothing keeps interested like a beautiful personality.  If I were to be honest, I would say yeah definitely body type can be a factor in my level of attraction to a woman, but often times it isn’t a deal breaker.

 

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